

Wanting each other is the electric current that first brought you together, and the thing you want to recapture to spark up your sex life. Sex Rx: The key to desire is wanting, not having, according to couples therapist Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity. And we’re in a position, paradoxically, to have to get both of these needs met by the same person. That’s because we also crave novelty, adventure, and discovery. Security, predictability, and stability are part of the beauty of marriage or a long-term relationship-hello, sweatpants and Netflix! But they can also be its undoing in the bedroom. RELATED: People Have Become More 'Sexually Adventurous' in Lockdown, Says Survey Pursue what truly feels good without pressure to perform. Sex Rx: Give yourself permission to feel sensual and sexual pleasure in non-textbook ways. “Women can feel good about whatever brings them pleasure-they don’t have to fit into a mold.” Whipple’s study in the Journal of Sex Research confirms that women’s sexual responses don’t fall neatly into one pattern, but come from a variety of stimuli and can light up the same parts of the brain as men’s do when they reach orgasm. “Instead of being goal-oriented, women tend to be more pleasure-oriented, like a circle, with each sensation on the perimeter of the circle and an end unto itself, not necessarily culminating in a climax,” Rutgers University sex researcher Beverly Whipple, PhD, tells Health. Believing that sex happens only in a set way can be intimidating and dampen the impulse to try. That may work for the big screen, but it may not work for you. RELATED: Sex During the Coronavirus Just Isn't Happening-and It's Totally Normalįirst they kiss then their hands wander soon they’re intertwined, feverishly thrusting until the man orgasms. We invite you to recognize the real-life obstacles to your healthiest, most fulfilling sex life, so you can find ways to overcome them.

One study in the journal Sex and Marital Therapy found that women who are sexually satisfied report higher levels of overall well-being than women who aren’t getting the same satisfaction. While there are dozens of reasons for lack of lust-from illness to stress to scheduling-the truth is that sex is healthy for body and mind and builds closeness, intimacy and a sense of partnership in your relationship.

In a National Institutes of Health study that followed couples over 30 years, 75% reported a decline in bedroom activity over time. “Virtually all relationships go through some sort of tapering-off period, typically after 6 months to a year,” San Francisco-based licensed marriage and family therapist Vanessa Marin tells Health. Now, it’s a challenge to remember the last time you were naked together. When you first met your partner, there was electricity, there was passion, and there was sex-lots of it.
